No Dessert

Despite the Spartan’s axiomatic toughness, they could be astonishingly gentle when dealing with their fellow Spartiates.  In court cases, the punishments doled out were, at times, the sort of thing one might expect a parent to assign to a child.  One rich man was condemned to go without dessert with his dinner.  Others were sentenced to bring back a reed or a handful of laurel leaves.  Even Agesilaus, one of Sparta’s ablest kings and commanders, asked that his friend, even if guilty, be found not guilty, for his sake.

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The Spartans’ Apology

The story of the Persian messengers who demanded earth and water from the Spartans is well known.  To the Persians, this request for earth and water was a sign of submission and obedience, a request the Spartans strongly refused.  They were thrown into a well by the Spartans, and told that they would find both of each down there.  However, the sequel to the story is lesser known.

The Spartans later regretted this incident so greatly, for it was undeniably an immoral act, that they sent two citizens to Persia, who volunteered to be killed by them in order to erase the Spartans’ guilt from their own crime.

The Gifts of Polycrates

Polycrates was tyrant of Samos, and probably the first Greek leader to have control of a large navy.  He used this navy against both friends and enemies as privateers, seizing the property of merchants.  From his foes, he kept the goods, but to his friends, he returned it.  He enjoyed being able to give gifts to his friends, which is why he seized the goods in the first place, for if he didn’t, he would have nothing to give to his friends.  And through this largesse, he bound the recipients more closely to his own cause.

Suicide by Dorian

In a war between Athens and the Dorians of the Peloponnesus, the Delphic Oracle proclaimed that the Athenians would have victory, if their king was slain by the Peloponnesians.  Hearing of this prediction, the Peloponnesians gave word to every man in their army not to harm Codrus, King of Athens.  Codrus, however, had other plans.  He dressed himself as a wood-cutter and made his way towards the enemy army, where he came across some soldiers, and picked a fight with them, wounding some with his axe, until they slew him in annoyance.  The Athenians then dispatched a herald to the enemy camp, requesting the body of their slain king.  When they realized what they had done, the Peloponneisans retreated, leaving Athens victorious, in fear of the Oracle’s words.

Just Buy Both

Sam Zemurray was the head of the Cuyamel Fruit Company, one of the larger banana companies, and one of United Fruit’s largest competitors.  The two companies owned land in Honduras and Guatemala, with a buffer zone between them.  However, Zemurray wanted to expand, and decided to purchase this formerly neutral land.  This aggressive move prompted United Frui to make a grab for the land, too.

But there was a catch.  The land had two purported legal owners, and no one could tell who truly owned it.  Furthermore, the territory was claimed by both nations.

United Fruit put their lawyers and investigators on the case, in order to determine who the actual owner was, in order that they might purchase the land from the correct individual.  It took them months to determine who truly owned the land.

In the meantime, Zemurray had simply met with both individuals separately and purchased the land twice, once from each of them, and beat United Fruit to the prize.

Saint Patrick’s Staff and the Quiet Druid

Saint Patrick, as most people know, is credited with bringing Christianity to Ireland and converting the natives to the religion.  As such, before him, they were relatively ignorant of Christianity and its practices.

Once, Saint Patrick baptized a Druid priest.  We led the man into the water, thrust down his heavy staff, and recited the proper prayers.  After he finished, he told the Druid that he could now leave.

“But I can’t,” he replied.

“Why not?”

“Your staff is on my foot.”

Saint Patrick looked down, and so it was.  His staff had been driven into the man’s foot.  “Why didn’t you say something?” asked the saint.

“I thought it was part of the ceremony,” replied the Druid.